Wednesday, November 18, 2009
5 Dec, here I come. Let's get it all started over again, let's get my blood pumping through me once more.
12:42 AM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Limits. What exactly are they?
SC has taught me a saying which makes my blood boil instantly - You set your own limits. That means limits only exist when you give up. It might be true for a lot of people, but definitely not for me. Limits have got absolutely nothing to do with being weak and giving up like a coward. Limits do exist in this world, but perhaps not exactly adhering to its literal meaning. If you have given your best at that given moment, I'll call that your limit as far as I'm concerned. Lastly, I don't believe limits signal an end.
Oh well, can't believe PW is finally over. Anything that comes to an end makes me feel sad, even not-very-pleasant ones like PW. I could roughly remember my group's first ever PW meeting at AMK Hub's Subway. Back then, it was just a bunch of students randomly thrown together. Not a lot of chemistry, not a lot of bonding.
We've come far. Really far for a group like mine. And in the end, it's the finishing line, not the starting line, that makes me hesitant to cross it.
A normal day, an extraordinary farewell.
10:48 PM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It's been a difficult weekend, full of pop-ups and unexpected troubles. With that stress and a heap of worries weighing onto my heart, even fun and passion can't move it away. Even important stuff like OP is getting second-rated, and I can't seem to ask myself why am I even doing all these pointless, dumb, idiotic stuff. I can't seem to answer myself, perhaps, that I made the wrong choice after all. I can't seem to look into my eyes on the other side of the mirror, and tell myself that I've done the right thing.
Coming so far, I might say that I’ve taken more mistakes than a lot of people around me. I could even say I'm not afraid of making mistakes. But I'm only afraid of not being forgiven. I'm afraid that I may never be forgiven for my mistake. This mistake of mine.
I wonder, would it be the dawn or the dusk?
11:41 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Disappointed, heart-broken.
That was the single worst presentation I've done since.. I started with speeches and presentation. It was a 'rojak' mix of everyone's worst presentation nightmares:
Forgot my lines and panicked
Being seen as disoriented and unprepared
Poor pronunciation due to a very worn out voice from many, many rehearsals
Speeding past the time limit
I just don't have an idea how to express my disappointment. It's as if the sunshine was stripped away from my life. I'll let the rain do the talking when they tap on the glass. Let the rain show me how proper speaking is done.
Today's blunder shall be my past. Failure, not success, is the next step to success.
10:19 PM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Last!
A bit of disappointment at first, but it still felt pretty good. At least, now I know I have that much potential on hand. In my opinion, there's plenty of room for improvements.
I started off pretty well, fourth up to third on the first lap, and remained third for the subsequent few laps ahead. That was before fatigue caught up and I found myself at the hungry jaws of everyone behind me. I began to understeer more and more, because my arms just wouldn't supply anymore strength to turn the wheel. By around lap 7, my arms were totally exhausted. Then, a mishandling of brakes while being too aggressive sent me off the track, leaving me unable to recover until I was way, way last. Engine died mysteriously on lap 12, don't ask me why. But I'm 100% sure I had nothing to do with it -throttling halfway the engine failed to response.
But even that's pretty a lot to learn for a first-timer, not to mention the lack of racing background as well. I believe my line was pretty good, but I just wasn't strong enough to steer the kart into it. Next month, hopefully I'll be able to join the next race. I'll return stronger, physically. As for now, time to start build up arm muscles! =D
Results often don't matter as much as what you've gone through and learnt.
11:24 PM
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Finally done with WR. That thing has totally pushed me to my physical limits of staying awake and overclocking my brain to churn out pieces and pieces of substantial, quality ideas and analysis. Life's been pretty tired as a result, but I'm glad it's pretty much over, at least, over for the WR part.
And that's just part one of this week. Can't wait for the rest. With school tomorrow morning, I can finally afford some quality sleep =D Good night peeps!
11:00 PM
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Just what is the meaning of a true wake-up call?
It feels more like a jump back into the past, or maybe the past taking a jump forward to the present. It's just taking that first breathe after spending a long, long time in the silence behind the watery surface. Whatever that has happened then, vanishes in wisps of dreams that you wished to have never dreamt. Regrets, for sure, serves only as the sole fuel to that burning resolve to burst out into piece of green, bright plains. No longer behind that wall of glass, watching the raindrops roll off one by one under the dim lights. It's the sun, it's the breeze. Get out there and show your stuff.
WR's almost done. A sigh of relief for nearly breaking up everything I had built up over the past 8 months or so. It's yet another flaw of my personality for being unable to accept being shot down like that. I should have seen it coming when my cool was lost. Still, a commendable effort to pick myself out of that sticky situation and walk out of it before all was lost. Close call, I might say, too close for comfort.
It's one thing to be yourself. But nowadays we change so quickly, so frequently that we hardly even know ourselves anymore. A more accurate way to put it is: always be in control of yourself. Everything that we do, we should always make sure that it is really us who wants to do it. Never, never let others make you do stuff you don't want to do. That's where my mistake began and snowballed.
Some weird inspiration prompted me give such a long post.
9:05 PM
Today's blunder shall be my past. Failure, not success, is the next step to success.